i, shatter

heartbeats

this is a sort of reply to you. aku ingin berjalan malam-malam denganmu, menghitung tiap cobbled stone dengan detakan jantungku. aku akan membelikanmu poppy seed bagel di sebuah toko kelontong yahudi di le marais,

mari mulai lagi. mungkin kau ingin mengunjungi le pure café, tempat ethan hawke dan julie delpy saling membohongi diri sendiri di awal before sunset. oh how cliché! but cliché works in paris, as does blue sky, sandstone buildings et parapluie,

mungkin lebih baik kita menonton electroma di racine odéon, non?

sesungguhnya, aku hanya ingin mencecap parfum manis di antara buah dadamu, di kamar honeymoon kita yang bau bawang di hotel rimbaud,

period.

l'anti-bourgeois gentilhomme

jules et jim et pancrutkancut et clovique et duniahitam
wake me up before this century ends
release me from the silver chains around my burning neck and my cool quilt of concrete
abandon me to the mann gegen mann world of future triptonics

jules et jim et violet et sautsitumorang et yoshife
rewrite the index of the world in feathers and beads
rescind all invitations to an alternate universe populated by exploding rain
reimagine babylon in dreams of lions and full english breakfasts!

jules et jim
never tell the truth in cinema verite!

mayor of everything and nothing (incumbent)

remote check-in aja cyin
super swarm masjidil haram
lupakan dulu besok isnin
bahagia meledak tengah malam

Semakin Kaumenjauh, Semakin Kumendekat*

yah tentu, ive got more grudges
than lonely high court judges,
tapi tahu nggak kamu,
i am two people
both of them you dont know
and you dont want to
memang semakin kau menjauh
aku akan semakin membabi buta
menggoogle namamu
sudah 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next sekarang
kenapa kau umbar pesonamu ke technorati
sementara dalam kamar kau hambar seperti peti mati ?

* singalong dengan primavega

Labels: google, morrissey, primavega, technorati

1 5 0 J U T A

ha ha

150 JUTA KREDO PUISI

150 juta bukanlah alat mengantarkan pengertian. Dia bukan seperti pipa yang menyalurkan lumpur. 150 juta adalah pengertian itu sendiri. Dia bebas.

Kalau diumpamakan dengan kursi, 150 juta adalah kursi itu sendiri dan bukan alat untuk duduk. Kalau diumpamakan dengan pisau, 150 juta adalah pisau itu sendiri dan bukan alat untuk memotong atau menikam.

Dalam kesehari-harian 150 juta cenderung dipergunakan sebagai alat untuk menyampaikan pengertian. Dianggap sebagai pesuruh untuk menyampaikan pengertian. Dan dilupakan kedudukannya yang merdeka sebagai pengertian.

Dalam puisi saya, saya bebaskan 150 juta dari tradisi lapuk yang membelengunya [sic] seperti kamus dan penjajahan-penjajahan lain seperti moral 150 juta yang dibebankan masyarakat pada 150 juta tertentu dengan dianggap kotor (obscene) serta penjajahan gramatika.

Bila 150 juta dibebaskan, kreatifitaspun [sic] dimungkinkan. Karena 150 juta bisa menciptakan dirinya sendiri, bermain dengan dirinya sendiri, dan menentukan kemauan dirinya sendiri. Pendadakan yang kreatif bisa timbul, karena 150 juta yang biasanya dianggap berfungsi sebagai penyalur pengertian, tiba-tiba, karena kebebasannya bisa menyungsang terhadap fungsinya. Maka timbullah hal-hal yang tak terduga sebelumnya, yang kreatif.

Dalam (penciptaan) puisi saya, 150 juta saya biarkan bebas dalam gairahnya karena telah menemukan kebebasan, 150 juta meloncat-loncat dan menari diatas kertas, mabuk dan menelanjangi dirinya sendiri, mundar-mandir dan berkali-kali menunjukkan muka dan belakangnya yang mungkin sama atau tak sama, membelah dirinya dengan bebas, menyatukan dirinya sendiri dengan yang lain untuk memperkuat dirinya, membalik atau menyungsangkan sendiri dirinya dengan bebas, saling bertentangan sendiri satu sama lainnya karena 150 juta-150 juta bebas berbuat semaunya atau bila perlu membunuh dirinya sendiri untuk menunjukkan dirinya bisa menolak dan berontak terhadap pengertian yang ingin dibebankan kepadanya.

Sebagai penyair saya hanya menjaga—sepanjang tidak mengganggu kebebasannya—agar kehadirannya yang bebas sebagai pembentuk pengertiannya sendiri, bisa mendapatkan aksentuasi yang maksimal.

Menulis puisi bagi saya adalah membebaskan 150 juta, yang berarti mengembalikan 150 juta pada awal mulanya. Pada mulanya adalah 150 JUTA.

Dan 150 juta pertama adalah mantera. Maka menulis puisi bagi saya adalah mengembalikan 150 juta kepada mantera.

Sutardji Calzoum Bakrie
Freedom Institute, 17 Agustus 150000000

The palm at the end of a cheese rind

Two years ago
When you remember things you wonder
How could I ever forget ?
So I was thinking of D-- and how --A's leaving now after
Less than two years and of the people that were ther
E when she came and who left after she came and who replaced
Who and who got rid of who and who stayed but spent the day(
S) browsing the online want ads, jobsDB, karir.com, whatever
Wherever she could click her eyes into (did that work ?).
So I was thinking of N-- and her bloated water-balloon
Belly and her lieutenants, --I, yes I remembered her though
She, by all accounts, is totally, absolutely, forgettable,
And the other girl, The Beauty Editor, and I couldn't remem-
Ber her name, for the life of everyone in the universe !,
But then I remembered ! She sent me a text message re:Subject
:Re and my mind went off course, of course and I was more
Interested in the content of that message, what she said, ho-
W she phrased it, did she use emoticons ? and I could only
Remember the sky blue of my cheap, cheapest on the market,
Motor Ola casing, and the two-line breadth of the screen
(Don't worry, your boyhood lyricism will come back (to haunt you))
And I remembered nothing but that the tone was angry and
The message cryptic like everything else everyone else in
This cuntree and I gave up, not wanting to think about
That whole period of my life anymore but knowing that
Deep deep down East 17 and I had worked out, pieced
Together the broken jigsaw pieces of me memory, she said
Something like: Some people know some thongs [sic, yeah !] about other peo-
Ple and keep them to themselves, and some people choose
To write a fucking book. I remembered, and I didn't want
Not to.
It comes from not having done enough thinking.
(Whatever 'It' is was will be.)
So many things have happened and I've only taken notes of so
Few.
O there is time/are times: between phone calls, late at
Night when you know, even she won't call.
But then she does and you forget things.
You blame her for forgetting things.
The Thing Things.
And in your saner moments you blame yourself for not taking
Better care of your brain. Your mental health. Your Self.
Your metal health. Will Self.
But you don't know what that Self is anymore.
Mind.
It used to be so clear.
You write long letters to that Self.
Disguised as A-- or --N or any name of friends you can conjure up
Out of the smell of loneliness.
But that ended up badly, didn't it ? Very.
So you decided to become, try to become a better person,
One who thinks first before he acts.
And you promptly act before you have done enough thinking.
Because thinking hurts.
Thinking is lonely.
Think lonely.
If I promise myself this, a page-between attempt at redress-
Ing the problems of my life by reading good books I buy
Second-hand, I'm sure I'll break it again, The Way I Have Br-
Oken So Many Promises To Myself In The Past Which If Ke-
Pt Would Have Made Me A Happier Person.
I Promise.
Why don't you begin at the start ?
Only never is too late. Never.
Alright.
A 2.5-storey house in Pejompongan.
Newly renovated in the current [circa 2006--ed.] fad style of steel frames,
Dove-grey paint job, polished wood everything, stairs sa-
Ns railings, a verandah on the 1.5 level, thin bars of the sa-
Me wood, unpolished, stacked together as fences, a gate,
In lieu of solid walls.
-- I had stopped writing two years ago to read some more
Of the New York poets in my Anthology of New York Poets
Vintage Classics edition of 1973 that I bought post-loved
Of course--who shares the knowledge of your of courses, pray, deary me ?--
The year was 2006, Anno Domini, from Jose Rizal's
Shop, that's the Indonesian Jose Rizal, the poet who wears
His hair in a greasy pony tail, not the dead Pinoy doctor,
(Maybe he wore his hair in a greasy pony tale)
And I read some Ashbery, Koch and read the biography at
The back of someone I can't remember his name--I remember no-
Thing these days--who cut&pasted Elvis's bio for his own.
I like funny things like that.
Funny men like that.
Funny, irresponsible men like that.
When I was reading Koch's 'Leaving Hydra' or something like
That, the poem was about this guy Peter who wanted to
Go for a walk with his homo friend Norris who'd decided
He wasn't homo after all and wanted to just cross the Eng-
Lish Channel hetero-like with a girl, Margaret, and why woul-
D anyone have ideas like that, going for a walk on an isl-
And they hardly know with a new friend you'd just met
Hours ago, and Koch said that was because we hardly ever hav-
E clear objectives in our lives, that
Two Days Later, 10 PM, or a few minutes after
You on the radio
Burning your way into the hard disk
Of my (he)art.
Yeah, I'd've written that.
No compunction.
No no no.

Ttruh cilam slberamcd 5 temis oevr*

i havnet uadpted trhbjratathtukeaouta for many ransoes. msot of them i dont wnat to dcuisss with you. safe to say ive been aawy from lfie as i konw it. im on an oegrovrwn ptah eedgd with bebrmals going nhwreoe. i dont mnid. ive been tkanig stiases in etmpy pgaanrgshaans upekmnt dreeetsd by trlaerves eevn. no one lieks hanigng out amynroe. just sitntig in kesorsi males all afeoontrn. no one sees the pinot in wniirtg lteerts in eignlsh aonryme. make the gtueesrs of wtniirg wtih yuor hdnas and no one wloud unastrdned. ive been rdanieg many books in my daerms. more and more wlaimis p.a. duam e. beortn de njis arlbet abtrels anyinthg inshcdie brlieeltce. i tinhk the sllnpieg is wonrg but ill let sgjaubo have it this tmie. i dnot have tmie to talk to you amornye. i hvae my sciuonipss. no i nveer stscepeud you but i suohld nveer have tsteurd aoynne laest of all mslyef. we have lost our roahni and im trying to rpeacle it wtih teals of tgnihs wtih a toaki ctigtreae lhietgr as thier siaerl pgosiaontrt. i lnog for a late arnftooen with a bsnkibbno&rias miexd frloavs sky but eyvwrehree auonrd me is nhigt. goodbye. yruoe hasrh on me for a rseaon i know. yuor own resanos. ive got ntoinhg to do with whveater psoern yuove dcdeeid to be. prephas you dediced it one ngiht in lskuoeahmwe while watinig for smeoone to cursh yuor pdoanal exrats for you in your tepsaoon. and you dndit hvae wetar olny clod owesevert tea. get on wtih it. get on with lfie. as you woulvde siad to me i bet you wvldoue said tsohe wrods to me. you hvae. if i tlod you taht i too had dceedid on the psoern the iedal man i wneatd to be trhee years ago and now i fnid msylef saitrng at the same ceiilng i was sairntg at tehre yeras ago to the sonced wluod you bilevee me? i hvae not mveod an icnh. time to rnarragee the fintuerrus in my room. no one has been rinckog in the rcoking cahir for many yeras phpaers its time to put rnoikcg to ptrsaue. wulod you bveelie it. im tiryng to mkae you itno my new muse. but yuore wphiinpg me into saphes i htae. the shdaow pnantiig of a rastas haed a fender sartt tihck akelns. yuore not ltinteg me be who i am o msue nevloule! i hate you. i hate you but i lvoe you bcseuae yuor hate is new. your dsgiust at my rclancutee to satnd under the cold moitnaun wetar pruinog out of the bmaobo ppie yuor shrot crut awesnrs to my ssepimeflo-d pmleorbs of amour your sertcely ttixneg your fdenirs to pcik you up so you can get aawy from the pioilbissty of sipdneng the nihgt with me. yuore ceelevrr than all my old mesus thats what i lkie auobt you. in this ctruony id klil for cveelr. now the sltrguge whcih of coruse you would sggsuet dsenot rellay hvae to be one is to fnid a way to feel the heat of your skin asanigt mine. prieod.

*dnoe uisng this tihng form code is porety

Safety5 EXTENDED WARRANTY !*

sèpti paip ektèndéd waranti
kata ney di kamar ganti
lengannya kepanjangan
48 hanya ada di plaza senayan
kapan gajian ? kapan kapan
kapan mapan kaps kaps
zyrex anoa pake linuk brapaan
40 giga solid state buffoonery
mari vandal bersamamu nancy
kuingin kau mati saja
gak bayar royalti pula
vaio tz viao kampret
macbook airhead for yer understated
overstatement of this here
zara working man mao jacket
five pocketed pick socketed
suit yerself sour sally
dunia matahari bunga matari
cenes chicks in hotpants
wingèd anklettes like hera
lets not and say we did great
high distinction for a sports jacket
bespoke my fantasies of you
and a grand armée of me
björk get bent ! i go thru
all this with my eyes closed
or open closed or open
closed for business how
will i live tomorrow, if ive got
suicidal tendencies 24/7
material dansa kalau kalau
saja boekan jang empoenya
kroessi males malesan di pekarangan
gedong besaran di bilangan salemba
google earth saja atap rumbianya
1908 ada sebuah pedati
melenggang tanpa kusir di pegangsaan

*ditulis dan disimpan di display piece zyrex anoa di best denki, senayan city

Bukan Tentang Seorang yang Terbunuh di Sekitar Hari Pemilihan Umum

eli eli lamma lamma sabacthani
better that than a saxophone cry kata ginsberg
lama sebelum bertemu gm di taman itu
hanya khayalannya !
nothings holy, didnt u get me ?
said he under his pubic beard
ah, mr ginsberg, dont u know
these poets of the third, overdeveloped (lyrically) world !
theyre nothing but false-cosmopolitans
a few rungs below false prophets
just a step above on the ladder half-sunk in hells cryogenic mud
dont pay any attention
to the voter with his face down in the ditch
hes just drunk
not hunted down by a police state

Labels: allen ginsberg, cryogenic, elections, false prophets, goenawan mohamad, howl, poets, police state, third world

wondering motorcycle the

- wondering smoking slowly naked

- beneath a motorcycle children were set quiet

- springy icicle leapt about the spun water

*done with this thing

60CL

the way reading kristeva
makes you feel
ill. stupid. and angry
all at the same time

fluxus ?
fluxus my ass !
balls to you too, marcel !
flux us !

i abject !

jérémy est maltraité
les parents de zoé divorcent

c'est la vie-lah !

real life is genuine experience
you live thru with gritted teeth

mudmen digging thru an asphalt highway
at 12.03 am

overtaking a container truck
at half-throttle

you risk getting stuck in a rut
you risk getting stuck in

stick it in
stick it out

at 150cc
you still wonder if youve got the right displacement ?

Labels: abjection, displacement, fluxus, french for kids, jatinegara, julia kristeva, lx150, marcel duchamp

azagtoth, trey

trey azagtoth,
why dontcha play drums for rick allen
let him reign in blood as long as he could possibly stand it
on a dark throne sprayed with shampoo
and yer lyrics would rhyme A B B A
and what about force-rhyming massacre with mascara ?
over millie petrozzas body ha !
but what if say, you wrote songs for la môme piaf, imagine that
and she says, c'est moi ! non, je ne regrette anything that rhymes with siang
thats when the small intestines on a carcass would explode from the heat of the midday sun
no time to ask for benediction from a nun
h.p. lovecraft, sumerian death chants, norse synth pops, when are ye gonna grow up, o
you, shorn lamb of god ?
wipe the floor in your chapel of ghouls
really wipe it this time, put some elbows into it, you annihilator of two-finger tapping !
betrayer !
ill plant fake plastic trees on your grave
play air sitar at your funeral
all for the sake of a spiritual healing
never pay attention to a body count

4KU

K4l4u s4mp41 w4ktuku
‘Ku mau t4k 530ran6 k4n m3r4yu
T1d4k jug4 kau

T4k p3rlu s3du sed4n 1tu

4ku 1n1 binat4n6 j4l4n6
D4ri kumpulanny4 t3rbu4n6

B1ar p3luru m3n3mbu5 kul1tku
4ku tet4p m3r4dan6 m3n3rj4n6

Luk4 d4n b154 kub4wa b3rlari
Berl4r1
H1n664 hil4n6 pedih p3r1

D4n 4ku 4k4n l3b1h t1d4k p3rduli

4ku mau h1dup s3r1bu t4hun l4g1

http://www.h3r1C2.n3t/blo6/ab6_t3Xt.Html

Labels: abg text, chairil anwar

RED33MED AR3A

Do you know wher3 y0u l1v3? Pr0b4bly.
4bn3r 15 63tt1n6 t00 0ld t0 dr1ve but w0n't 4dm1t 1t.
Th3 0th3r d4y h3 60t 1n h1s car t0 60 buy 50m3 c0ugh dr0p5
0f 4 k1nd th3y d0n't m4ke 4nym0re. And th3 dru65t0r3
h45 b3en incorp0r4t3d 1nt0 4 m4ll 4bout s3v3n mile5 4w4y
w1th 0nly 4bout h4lf th3 5t0r35 rent3d. Ther3 ar3 thre3
0th3r m4ll5 with1n 4 four-m1l3 ar34. 4ll the hou535
4r3 own3d by the 54m3 6uy, wh0's b33n r3nt1n6
th3m out t0 colle63 5tud3nt5 f0r y34r5, 5o th3y ar3 v1rtu4lly uninh4bitabl3.
4 5m3ll 0f v1tr1ol 4nd 5ock5 perv4d35 th3 ar34
l1k3 4n 0p3n 53w3r 1n 4 s0uk. 4nyw4y th3 c0u6h dr0ps
(4 n3w br4nd) t4st3d pr3tty g00d—l1k3 c4tn1p
0r 4n or4n6e 5lic3 th4t h4s l41n 0n 4 61rl'5 b3h1nd.

That'5 the 3lectr1ci4n c4llin6 n0w—
n0b0dy 3ls3 w0uld call befor3 7 4.M. N0w w3'll hav3 50m3
el3ctric1ty in the pl4c3. 1'll 5t4rt by plu66in6 1n
th3 Chr15tm4s tre3 l16ht5. Th3y w3r3 wh4t m4d3 th3 wh0l3 th1ng
6o up in 5p4rk5 th3 l45t t1m3. N3xt, th3 l16ht
by th3 d1cti0n4ry 5t4nd, 50 1 can lo0k som3 w0rd5 up.
Th3n probably th3 t045ter. 4 n1c3 5l1ce

of t0a5t would r34lly hit th3 5p0t n0w. 1'm 4fra1d 1t'5 all 0ver
b3twe3n us, th0u6h. M4ke n1c3, l1ke y0u re4lly c4r3d,
I'll chan63 my ch3m153, and we c4n d4nc3 4round th3 r00m
l1ke d3m3nt3d do65, e463r f0r 4 h4nd0ut or they d0n't
kn0w wh4t. Gradu4lly, 3v3ryth1n6 w1ll r3turn t0 n0rm4l, 1
pr0m15e y0u th4t. Th3r3'll b3 th1ng5 f0r y0u to wr1te about
1n your d14ry, 4 fur c04t f0r m3, 4 lavi5h 5h03 tre3 f0r that oth3r.

Make th4t tw0 5lices. 1 c4n 53e y0u 0nly thr0u6h 4 v36etal murk
not unl1k3 c0ral, 1f 1t w3re 53m1-l1quid, or 4 tr4n5p4r3nt milk5h4k3.
I hav3 4dju5t3d th3 l4mp,
morn1ng's at 53v3n,
th3 t4rn1sh h45 f4llen fr0m th3 m3t4ll1c 3mbroid3ry, th3 w4lls h4v3 f4ll3n,
th3 c0untry's puls3 1s r4c1n6. P4rent5 4r3 weepin6,
the 5ch00l5 h4v3 cl053d.

All th3 fus5 h45 put m3 1n 4 g00d mo0d,
0 6r3at sun.

* from John 45hb3ry, Y0ur Name H3r3, F4rr4r, 5tr4u5 4nd 6ir0ux, N3w York, 2000, p. 46-47

Labels: abg text, fsg, john ashbery

tentang seorang satanis yang gemar mendengarkan lagu-lagu santri*

ia dengarkan mp3 yang masih copy-protected itu satu persatu
tentang allah, paradiso, suci nan dududududum

mencipta dunia untuk sendiri termangu
di kefanaan konser burzum

*balasan buat 'tentang seorang santri yang gemar mendengarkan lagu-lagu satanik' besutan yoshi f/gedongproject di sini

Labels: allah, burzum, gedongproject, kefanaan, mp3, paradiso, santri, satanist, yoshi f

The Latitudes of Homosocial Motility within Heterosexual Desire in Matthew Lewis’s The Monk*

i was reading the monk when i realised i was in paris with my mum. it was early morning, still dark, and she had already gone for her morning walk. she had been taking pictures of unemptied rubbish bins around champs-élysées and abandoned rent-a-bikes everywhere that she said look like dead bodies.

'they used to push a lot of maghrebiens into the seine you know.'

i dont remember what i said in return. but i was reading the monk and had gotten to the bit when rosario/matilda was sent to the dungeon with the baby still in her belly, and i found it hard to think about death in such a beautiful city. though i saw the bullet holes on the walls of buildings near where the paris commune was. i stuck my index finger in one of them and the sandstone felt cold.

'they used to drink their blood.'

my mum makes things up all the time, she lies like ambrosio, but sometimes its hard to read her expression, if shes seriously joking or has gone totally bonkers. she hates black men too. she once refused to watch hotel rwanda because she didnt feel like watching a bunch of negroes shooting at each other. i was up to page 434 as i thought of these things.

'why dont you go with us to nice its nicer there.'

nice one, mum. i hate finishing off a good book. i wish it would go on forever. thats why i sometimes read a book back to front so it ends where it begins and thus never ends. hows that for a bushism. trés zen, non !? i dont have an exit strategy for this poem but thats alright coz i do not accept responsibility for it or for any other thing in my life. i think i should never have started it in the first place.

*pilfered from here

The Latitudes of Heterosocial Motility within Homosexual Desire in Matthew Lewis’s The Monk*

textual authority, propelled, in part, by capitulation to sexual desires,

governed by nefarious intervention, the manner by which egregious schemes transpire,

a patriarchal authority relegated by requisite friendship:

“Let us forget the distinctions of sex, despise the world’s prejudices, and only consider each other as Brother and Friend. Live then ! Oh ! live for me !”

homosocial sentimentality, but also the protean and indistinct characterization of the relationship in which they thrive !

sexualized command and feminine influences enfeeble power,

privilege the woman within the male/female binary. in turn.

the seeming intermediary between semiotic motilities pervades the confines of

homosocial sphere via the confluence of feminine and occult autonomy—Lucifer himself.

to this end, the Devil’s synchronous “maleness” and “femaleness,”

in conjunction with his supernatural predominance, ultimately establishes his victory:

“I had already triumphed: My plots had already succeeded. Scarcely could I propose crimes so quick as you performed them. You are mine, and Heaven itself cannot rescue you from my power.”

Satan deftly maneuvers within the homosocial and heterosexual bonds,

forging mastery through the conflation of his own desires with God's profligate sexuality.

what would Man do ?

“Endanger his own position as a subject in the relationship of exchange: to be permanently feminized or objectified in relation to other men ? Temporarily compromising his masculinity in order to gradually vanquish his ecclesiastical, yet pretentious, proclivities ?"

‘Thine, ever thine!’ murmured the Friar, and sank upon her bosom.'

Satan’s masculine existence as a woman “penetrated” by the other man’s emancipated sexuality, hid masculine force. Though at first prostrate within a female body, Satan perspicaciously transposes the idealization of masculinity into the egregiousness of his female counterpart, thus demonstrating His artful role as an object of both homosocial and heterosexual desire.

“Those afflicted or affected by psychosis have put up in its place the image of the Mother: for women, a paradise lost but seemingly close at hand, for men, a hidden god but constantly present through occult fantasy.” (emphasis thine !).

*cobbled from here

pengumuman kematian dan tata cara penguburan / dánarfregnir og jarðarfarir

kita bermain sampai mati
lebah mendengung dalam telinga
terperosok dalam genangan
hilang di tengah lautan
hening

awal yang baik
kegelapan
harapan
kabut
terbang

terjemahan hopelandic :

við spilum endalaust
með suð í eyrum
hoppípolla
sæglópur
svo hljótt

ágætis byrjun
myrkur
von
mistur
fljúgðu

Labels: flarf, sigur rós, translation

I'm kinda sweaty

And I said, “What about breakfast at Tiffany's ?”
I will surprise you sometime I’ll come ‘round
I’m not gonna give you a break
How does it feel
The book of love is long and boring no one can lift the damn thing
Cinta ‘kan membawamu kembali di sini
It hasn’t been so bad, yeah, I’d do it again
Inní mér syngur vitleysingur
Hey !
The night you can’t remember the night I can’t forget
I got soul but I’m not a soldier
Keepin’ down the underground
I’m sorry that I love you
Invitation to the last dance then it’s time to leave
The dirt in your fries

Solo Valensi

Solo Hammond, Jr.

Every single one of us is getting massacred on a frozen path
The Great Big No
Bye bye Badman
Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die ?
All the clouds have silver linings
Gonna track this shit around
Úr stað – sjálfur
Some voice is asking how my weekend’s been
Tonight I’m gonna rest my chemistry
Flashback, wrong nights
C’mon let me hold you, touch you, feel you, always
Safe sex doesn’t mean no sex use your imagination
They just wanna, they just wanna
I feel alone and tired
First you look so strong, then you fade away

Solo King

Solo Hannemann

*all the lines were lyrics things I heard on my orange iPod nano (16GB) the ones that stuck in my head in the past two days at work 5/8/09 and 6/8/09.

Labels: flarf, ipod

Sepanjang malam

Tapi satu malam di sebuah pesta ajojing di gedung Harmonie Nyonya Nomeydal bertemu dengan Tuan Ladyemon, yang bertaring pedang. Nyonya Nomeydal tetap tersenyum tenang, percaya dengan kesaktiannya melumerkan tulang belakang pria hidung belang. Tapi di pucuk hidung Tuan Ladyemon, hanya ada komedo yg mulai menghitam.

Labels: clovique, harmoni, jakarta, poe, tempoe doeloe

sembuh

kunaik ke atas bukit
kutabur bungabunga dari dalam jala
kuterjun dari atas bukit
kutangkapi bungabunga itu satusatu
dalam mulutku

Labels: demam, frans nadjira

pantone 292*

aku tak mau lagi bawa lentera
yakin akan akurasi GPS-ku ke arah hatimu
mata pun kupejamkan
pohonpohon tinggal perasaan
jalan seperti awan

oleholeh pun ku tak punya, hanya keringat sedikit dingin di tangan

aku tak sempat pula pakai deodoran
tak sempat sikat gigi
tak sempat mandi
tak sempat melatih teknik ciuman

kemarin cicak jatuh dari langitlangit kamar
ekornya putus
apakah ini pertanda sesuatu ?

aku tahu terasmu tinggal sepuluh depa di depan sana
aku seperti perenang buta
bernama nirwan
berwarna asalasalan

aku akan hancurkan terasmu
bakar atap rumbiamu
biar kita berdua moksa ke dalam pilu

*ditulis sebagai jawaban buat puisi maria ingrid, "warna temaram", di milis bungamatahari

Yang fana adalah twitter

Yang fana adalah twitter. Plurk abadi:
memungut hashtag demi hashtag, merangkainya seperti #bunga
sampai pada suatu tweet
kita lupa untuk @siapa.

“Tapi,
yang fana adalah twitter, bukan?”
DM-mu. Plurk abadi.

*merusak sajak mumualoha yang merusak sajak sapardi djoko damono

live forever

: pancrutkancut

who wants to live forever
liam and noel ?
weren't they just being ironic ?
like that guy in 24 hour party people who said:
'second coming ? i like it.'
and shrugged his emaciated indie-kid shoulder.
but you, my forest fairy, have been picking up pieces of irony
since day one, since yr last ex's fingers got stuck
in yr angel hair. dont ever comb 'em out, nothing is ever as good
as a memory inaccurately recalled. of a love that will not be
forever, of happily ever after: everything about it
is better left unsaid.

rainbow white-e

For Edo Wallad
il miglior fabbro.

tergoda romantisme kota
mengantar ekstasi
kepada teman di ratu plaza
selamat ulang tahun
semoga hidupmu penuh pelangi
ah
rezeki pasti datang kembali
jawabku
pada pertanyaannya
kenapa begitu murah hati
jika tua
aku tak ingin dikoyak-koyak sepi
lebih baik punya memori
tentang jakarta
kaki-kaki emas
dibungkus jas hujan

jakarta (hanya untuk 24 jam) - kanto 1

and in the year 2009 basi zeke khaseli was a boylien

concocting loops of strawberry fields forever
magical mystery tour of kebayoran baru dan sekitarnya

his latest solo project

weekly downloads at zekekhaseli.com
poet and song-destroyer
better than his band

or @Leonardoringo

while the rest of the cityliens
busy twittering their lives away

JNE man delivered darthvader unleashed to @curlylainbow's door

rain in november
@yoshife writing haikus on his job descs
laughing at unnameables catfighting on plurk

#pantaikecil

he made it at last

@ZekeKhaseli
on his own
sans TOA
sans pig masks
sans a tank in the background

selamat ya tante
kurusan sekarang
bajingan tenan

dan mengantarkan ekstasi ke teman
tak ada artinya
dibanding matahari yang pecah di binaria

menghunjamkan kedua kaki ke dalam AP boots
melindungi mata kaki dari lebam kobis busuk
dan sabut kepala di aspal

kan bisa pake loop
sabtu itu playground
dan manusia manusia dar berbagi pelangi
rajawali hitam
hoffman
dan candyman

hadiah ulang tahun paling hacep tahun ini
serentetan kutipan dari chairil @edophilia dan si possum
biarlah orang tidak mengerti yang penting happy

ini akan menjadi puisi epik tentang kota dan cinta matiku padanya

#kataudin telah merajalela
dengan melek sadis
LEKDIS
dan gaya sepa
ada pantulan manja di dahinya
ada pantura manja di dahinya

kemudian jika @jokoanwar kembali mereka sebuah #trendingtwoppic
semudah membalik pantat
kota kembali hujan RT
dan twitter police

menunggu kemurahan hati @fanabis
kemarahan pondok labu @mumualoha
#cumadiciledug @Destesita

sementara bekasi
telah pindah ke pos tumben
lihat saja di google earth
pin a 1967 vespa super on the roof of the joglo superindo
it took me seven pancious original pancakes to understand you
and your javanadian concept of sehidup semati
LEKDIS!
i truly envied the musicality of your multiply posts
the easy indolish haceppity
the lack of gengsi

unlike @clovique
who made me frown
question the sanity of durga tattoo

if the artery of this city really lies in cikini
she lies
turning her back on co-dependency
and a series of coolies as boyfriends

had fun in bali though
a year with a ripe pumpkin

and random calls from teman yang bertepuk sebelah tangan at 3 a.m.
to hear stars shooting in the dark of her kos

PJ and MJ collapsed in downstairs bedroom reading stephen dixon's I.
misunderstanding lorrie moore's puns for reality
mencari remah-remah hati dalam rené char
siapa tahu bisa menunjukkan jalan pulang

tapi perlu ouvres complètes
untuk mengerti efek alcools
dan pengaruh valery
pada peradaban

kan bisa pake loop
dan anak-anak ahensi pun berlomba pitching sofistikasi
so sophistic !

tentang logat tegal sopir mobil rental
dan #twitterstory tentang bersetubuh dengan mayat suami
sudah 40 hari
dan kontolnya masih kenyal

malam-malam di rumah retak
mulut menganga menonton casper dengan lengan baju yang menyala-nyala
dan kijang ber-coat of arms singa
the three lions of bosnia-hergovina

dan @blackuniverse menerima telpon di tengah-tengah usaha berhenti
menembus tembok
yes ive got a question mr kubrick !
kenapa aku merasa seperti berada di luar angkasa ?

dan kuping pun mendengung dengan ambekan pacar di somalia
tentang proyek air bersihnya yang gagal di eritrea
dan kapan mereka akan beli kamera lomo
yang tak akan membuat hidup terasa
slo-mo
basi lo

kan bisa pake loop

mendownload berjuta-juta ikhtiar dari gigapedia
mencari bagaimana cara terefektif meng-convert .lit menjadi a picture of a clit
yours baby

alamakjan
ia ngorok seperti buto !
lihat #jaemanis !
datukmu tertidur kelelahan setelah semalaman mengusung duka

puisi tidak seharusnya dibacakan di stasiun kereta api
maupun ditulis di wc
atau dijadikan mainan bayi
puisi itu agung
adiluhung
makkethungthung

sak karepmulah bambang lintang sugianto !
nek mung arep njaluk duik rasah nggambleh dhisik !
ra ilok
jaréné

dan anggoro gunawan pun menghilang
di tepian sirkuit sentul katanya
tidak seperti antasena
ia tidak bisa membunuh luka
hanya dengan menghentakkan kakinya
begitu juga holiday_sendiri
mereka semua telah menjilat jejaknya sendiri
dan mati
seperti antareja

sungguh martirdom yang membuat dada busung dengan bangga
di mana lagi aku akan bisa membaca tentang seorang pekerja LSM lokal
menggerus aspirin dalam sendok teh dengan ibu jari
pada pukul 4 pagi ?

di pedalaman aceh yang nggegirisi
katanya
jawa koh takue !

kembali kepada fiction as history

fungsi RT sebagai pemersatu
sekaligus pembelah
tidak semua orang mendapatkan fasilitas Retweet (BETA)
selangka undangan Google Wave kepada orang yang tidak hip

jikalau kemudian ia memindahkan semua figurine koleksinya
ke dalam hati binyonya
siapa yang akan xoxo egonya ?

jika memang masih au fait dengan bencana

kan bisa pake loop
bagaimana bisa jika macbookpro telah digasak pencoleng
di siang bolong
gunting besi dan gembok karatan
pintu laundry yang gentayangan

hidup di citylien ini sungguh seperti sebuah short story
abdullah harahap !
short
gothic-y
a possessed girl pissing in your face
worms eating your vitals
all a dead metaphor for
the dead

presumably

kan bisa pake loop

membaca the (annotated) waste land
lengkap dengan facsimile jiwa wilfred owen
deru campur debu sebagai sampul buku
didn’t really work

mungkin diperlukan semacam footnote untuk menjelaskan endnote
yang bisa dijual oleh valerie eliot
kepada faber and gwyer
posthumously

semuanya bisa diatur
dalam thick description
apalagi think description
sementara negara semakin mendekati level middle earth

sejenak sebelum sauron menjadi the eye
dan bunga matahari tumbuh di dada-dada orcs yang gosong

sam menggauli frodo
lidah pink di sekeliling ring
oh your precious

suatu hari berhenti dengan hujan
dan lampu send online yang menolak menyala
padahal selalu receive
dan pc/activity pun selalu standby
nanggung
belkibolang 250.000

USURA
how right he was
how prescient
il miglior fabbro
the better medicine man

kan bisa pake loop

jakarta (hanya untuk 24 jam) - kanto 2

sementara ia tertidur pada tanggal 11 may 2007
the year of your lord
she went to the corner store
Keluarga Lestari
for a box of pens
a copy of the da vinci code on the cashier’s table
an english-indonesian dictionary
two books in chinese
you’re selling the da vinci code too ?

shopkeeper girl in tight tee: no not really

old man behind the cashier
white hair left-parted glasses
chocolate liver spots on arms and face
his ?
yes the engkoh’s
the engkoh wrote the receipt for her pens

sekarang tanggal sebelas ya?
iya
berarti besok tanggal dua belas ya?
iya dua belas
berarti udah sembilan tahun ya?
iya pak udah sembilan tahun waktu itu kena pak ?
enggak

she paid the bill and left

sementara ia tertidur dengan gadis kawanua di sisinya
di sofa bulukan di d’place
sebelum perjuangan tiga jam menuju tepi ciawi
dalam estafet angkot-omprengan-angkot-angkot
lebih seperti sebuah simfoni
di mana are we there yet tidak lagi punya arti

di mana itu there ?

jika ia masih minta diturunkan sampai depan rumah
di tebet timur dalam
sementara janjinya adalah ikrar jurnal perempuan
untuk berdikari dalam diam

di kota itu ia yang memikul jiwanya
harus berjuang
melawan bullshit
and images corporeal

tak bisa pake loop

menghitung suara langkah di atas aspal
kaki berbalut clarks
kadang cydwoq
(dalam kota tanpa sidewalk)
kadang springcourt depuis 1936
(kota ini depuis 1619 menurut susan blackburn
née abeyasekere)

feminis laki-laki berbulu gadis arivia
turun di depan TIS
kaki kanan belakangan
berjalan buru-buru
menuju matahari terbit
dan parking spot idaman

tapi itu nanti
atau telah terjadi
dalam segarra akanan

sementara ia tertidur di pinggiran
suburbia larangan
aspal yang bergerinda
those were nokia engage-QDs that were his eyes

he got the idea off his brother
to strap life on a piece of string
around his neck
better that than an albatross he said

dengan teman sihir rendra: permainan makna
dan the imagery of euripides
ini hari ketiga ia mengurung diri di luar kamar
dalam sesak hatinya

en attendant chao lei

mari kita tinggalkan
sementara ia tertidur di lantai tiga sebuah salon di palbatu
menteng dalam
sepelemparan cimski dari assisi
tempat obama dulu dicaci maki
negro lu !

tak ada yang ingat juga

presiden amerika hanya warung bubur kacang ijo
terlalu simbolik untuk diingat

di kota yang penuh dengan warnet 24 jam
gay guys chatting in multiple windows
cut uncut ?
posisi di mana sob ?
posisi gimana ?

sementara ia tertidur ditindih gay padang horny yang besok harus menikah
karena tekanan mommy

aku tak bisa lagi ke jalan-jalan
menghapus muntah dari poni
sihir rendra: permainan top bottom

ini masa pre-RT
dan mas ads tems menunts lo biks testi
dibiks duls sebels dibaks duls

kassian munir

berita pagi yang lalu: lagi mau baks
malah dibaks

ia bahkan tak punya waktu untuk tiga hari sebelum selamanya
dan sebuah invitation letter dari merton college, oxford
untuk belajar human rights and wrongs

karena terbalik sudah dunia

sementara ia tertidur di meja kantor
dengan collins pocket french dictionary
in colour
english > french
en couleur disparu

dreaming of notoprajan
naga mas
dan collobrières
pagi emas dalam sebuah citroên
dan soundtrack romanthony

a case of pineau des charentes in the boot
remembrance of things past

ou

in search of lost time
take your pick
lydia davis

‘one might wonder about her imagined audience’

but why
melani budianta
why not imagine her imagined audience

a possum and a small coterie of impractical cats
bibsy soenharjo

what would’ve happened if you got bullied at school
perhaps you could’ve become a real poet

dikit aja semenjananya
gak pake belungsing ya

puisimu akan selalu warna-warni seperti telur paskah

sementara ia tertidur di taxi putra
menuju pinggir jakarta
89.2 melipur lara supir
yang bermimpi tentang indomie telor dobel
dari warung yu siti cikupa

sementara ia tertidur setelah meninggalkan pesan
‘bangunkan saya setelah melewati batas’

sementara ia tertidur di atas kap suzuki jimny
terparkir manis untuk menyembunyikan dirinya dari roti bakar eddy
setelah muntah anggur murahan di pagar tetangga
yang akan menemukan rumput jepangnya berwarna merah besok pagi

ia kembali ke dalam memori bayi ex-affairan

menempelkan kedua tangan dan bibirnya ke kaca jendela rumah petak tusuk sate
di samping kuburan
embun menciplak di kaca yang menempel ke bibir mungil

dan ibunya merencanakan seribu macam cara untuk mengakhiri nyawa sendiri
tiga tahun sebelum ia mengubur egonya
dan menikah lagi dengan masa depan yang lebih stereoscopic

sementara ia tertidur tiga tahun untuk melupakannya
tidur panjang di savana tanpa ilalang
yang tak bisa menyembunyikan seekor jangkrik dan sebuah kitab

bersampul biru

dalam rak best-seller
dengan stiker ‘self-pitying literary awards
2004 short-listed’

berarti udah tiga tahun ya
iya
waktu itu terhina pak?
iya

dan ia pun berjanji
sesepi apa pun hatinya
ia tidak akan pacaran lagi
sampai ia merasakan gemparnya

a thousand nights of disco

history as fiction
tidak seseru embassy setelah neken setengki
maupun dilarang masuk dragonfly
karena dandanan yang kurang upmarket
sementara john k.-john k. berbalut t-shirt junkies

alay prehistoris
memantulkan armani exchange di lantai dansa

sepotek lagi di kamar mandi

kemudian the obligatory fashion show

saat cinderella berubah lagi jadi suster dari lpk bina putri
dan kereta labu berubah jadi honda beat

cewek-cewek anorexic membayangkan diri agyness deyn

open fire: underneath desire

memancang kepala di depan ac hyundai matrix
paul van dyk we are alive and well in this sickening city

hacep sob ?

minta kahlua dengan sedikit eiskaffee

pecah hina

menyurukkan kepala ke punggung cewek setengah dikenal
di atas sofa yang baru diupholstered
dengan motif pembunuh berkeringat dingin

rasanya sepi

sementara ia tertidur dalam kamar
mengumpulkan bacol dalam angan
ex-girlfriends dan friends of ex-girlfriends
cunts and arseholes
loose fit on his withering cock

kering untuk withered
di perjanjian baru terjemahan lama

2007 seperti abu jenazah
melekat di lengan baju
melesak masuk ke lubang hidung
saat yang kauinginkan adalah kekhusukan yang anggun

bayangkan sebuah ngaben di jalan thamrin
pecalang yang mengarit semanggi agar bade bisa lewat
melanggar arus berputar tiga kali di daun-daun semanggi
roh diharapkan tahu jalan kembali ke plangi
begitu indah

dan pointless

this combo of fake modernity and incipient spirituality
gimme abu bakar ba’asyir anyday
dan secercah keyakinan di jenggot santanya

sementara ia tertidur di meja bar bb’s
setelah bertukar baks dengan tony q
pesta pantai di lantai 3
salam damai dari steven & danar prameztee

lelah mengingat tentang tahun yang tak begitu berarti
hilang dalam kesetiaan kepada pacar yang anak sos

sehingga ia kehilangan semua temannya
dalam chatting y!m sekali-sekali
dan kunjungan incognito yang selalu dihantui

ringtone the hydrant
lost in seminyak

makin malam makin gila

sementara ia tertidur
dengan bunga kamboja
di pusarnya

panas

twiterranny killed me
i have no compunction to write beyond the roof of my mouth
you were waiting for me to rip your daster off
you were waiting for me to offer you a chinoiserie fan
you were waiting for me to give in to your stare
and i cracked open another can of beer
in the balmy afternoon of a third world concretanical garden
and said im in love with your best friend